Are these London Snacks Heaven or Hell?

London snacks are not to everyone’s taste. You maybe salivating when you read through this list or decide that our snacks are an abomination. 

Snacking in London on Traditional British Foods

As one man’s meat is another man’s poison, l will take you through my personal snacks from heaven to hell, in descending order, with one snack that I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole.

1. Marmite

During the first world war Marmite was including in a soldier’s rations as it is choc full of vitamins and  its treacly appearance looks like something medicinal.

Marmite is an industrial by-product of beer brewing but tastes nothing like beer. It has a distinctive savoury, almost anchovy taste.

A little goes a long way and it needs to be spread very thinly on buttered toast.

You either love or loathe it. The ones who hate it have probably tried to eat it on a teaspoon straight from the jar!

“Marmite. You either love it or hate It” is the manufacturer’s clever advertising slogan to get the masses to rise to the challenge of tasting this tongue tingling spread.

However, I don’t need any persuading….I could wake up in the middle of the night craving English Breakfast tea and Marmite on toast. I’m voting this as the acme of my personal food heaven. And if you want to know where I buy my tea from here it is.

2. Warburton’s Crumpets

A crumpet is a cold rubbery thing and extremely unappetising if eaten cold straight from the packet. Crumpets need to be put through the toaster several times until they are almost crunchy on top.

Butter is then lavishly spread. When the butter has trickled down the bubbly holes and coated the underside, they are ready to be livened up with a slathering of fruity jam like Tiptree Strawberry Preserve.

This is what all sane Londoners enjoy for afternoon tea at home on wintery days.

3. Heinz Baked Beans

Beans on toast is apparently the dish of choice for Michelin starred London chefs. They come home exhausted after creating gourmet delicacies in their restaurant kitchen and heat up a simple tin of beans until it is bubbling and eat them on buttered toast.

Quick and delicious, beans on toast can be greatly enhanced with a grating of cheddar cheese.

4. McVities Digestive Biscuits

Perhaps digestive biscuits are not the king of British biscuits – they are far too plain for that.  However, their wheaty, malty taste and crumbly texture make them the perfect accompaniment to a British cuppa.

The chocolate versions are very popular.  Milk chocolate or dark chocolate is rippled in the surface of the digestive biscuit.

I like the plain ones which make a tasty snack with a corner of cheddar cheese.

5. Nestle Kit Kat

I remember reading that Pricncess Diana (she was an avid dieter) was quite partial to two fingers of Kit Kat.

This iconic British chocolate biscuit is sold in two finger and four finger versions.

I used to get great pleasure from removing the paper wrapper followed by the thin foil covering.

Snapping the individual fingers apart was also strangely satisfying.

Now in my opinion, the manufacturers have royally screwed things up. They have brought out bizarre flavours like orange, mint and apple pie. What’s that all about? And they have replaced the paper and foil wrapper with recyclable plastic. Nestle, stop interfering with our Traditional British foods!

6. Melton Mowbray Pork Pies

Pork Pies are one of those things that are almost impossible to make at home unless you are a Cordon Bleu trained cook with a few days of free time.  The distinctive hot water pastry needs a deft hand. I won’t tell you how the jelly encasing the sausage meat is made. I’ll give you a clue its something to do with boiling animal feet. (try not to think about it).

Pork pies are one of the most portable of London snacks. Take them to your Ascot picnic. They are welcome in all social circles.

The best place to hunt out this snack is the Ginger Pig in Marylebone or Fortnum and Mason food hall however as we are shopping in the supermarket today, you could look for the Dickinson and Morris Melton Mowbray pork pie with the longest use-by-date ensuring that the thick pastry is at its freshest.

7. Mr Kipling Cakes

Mr Kipling is missing a trick. He needs to bring out a selection of his favourite cakes in one special tasting box.

The top of my personal list would be the Battenberg Cake which comprises lurid coloured sponge covered in a thin layer of jam and encased in marzipan.

I am also partial to a French Fancy, which was popular in the era of Lyons Corner Houses. A square of sponge is topped with a dollop of vanilla faux cream and enrobed with strawberry, chocolate or lemon flavoured icing.

You may also want to try Mr Kipling’s almond fingers or jam tarts.

8. Quality Street

British families have bought tins of Quality Street for decades as a Christmas treat. We would watch the Queen’s Speech on Christmas Day while stuffing our faces and fighting over the purple ones with their caramel and hazelnut centres. They don’t put enough purple ones in the box in my opinion and the fruit creams and hard toffee are left to languish at the bottom.

Now that the supermarkets have introduced these smaller cardboard boxes there is no need to wait for Christmas to enjoy them – they make great London snacks when you are on the move as they are individually wrapped.

9. Bassett’s Liquorice All Sorts

Obviously, you would need to be a massive fan of black liquorice to buy a packet of these chewy, black sweets.  Some of these confections have a strange beaded coating in poisonous colours like pale blue. Liquorice All Sorts are something of acquired taste. The weird thing is that whichever one you eat they all seem to taste the same.  I’d put them somewhere down the list beneath other old-fashioned British sweets like pear drops and jelly babies. We are here to live dangerously, so buy a packet.

10. Walkers Crisps

When I was growing up crisps came in just one flavour; plain.  A small blue twisted paper was somewhere at the bottom containing salt that you sprinkled to your taste.

I then recall the traumatic introduction of the cheese and onion, salt and vinegar and chicken flavours. This is when it all started to fall apart for me.

Then I saw someone set light to a crisp which oozed fats and oils and I knew my crisp eating career was over.

Let us not forget that crisps are part of the standard British lunch meal deal…a sandwich, a bag of crisps and a fizzy drink is lunch for millions.

All those millions of Brits can’t be wrong. Or can they?

My Snack From Food Hell

Pot Noodles

I want to meet the man who invented the Pot Noodle.

I mean who in their right mind would invent a snack of dehydrated noodles and add assorted flavours which come to life with boiling water and then call it lunch.

When I was at University, there was a spotty science student who acquired a bad case of malnutrition by eating Pot Noodles for every meal. In the defence of Pot Noodle, I’m sure that these are intended as an occasional snack and who knows the recipe may now be fortified with micro-nutrients.

Personally, I don’t think I have had a pot noodles in fifty years and I am not about to start now.

These traditional London Snacks can be purchased at all the major supermarkets including Waitrose, Sainsbury’s and Tesco. Enjoy your London snacks.

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